5 Ways You Change from 18 to 25
“Knowledge comes but wisdom lingers. It may not be difficult to store up in the mind a vast quantity of facts within a comparatively short time, but the ability to form judgements requires the severe discipline of hard work and the tempering heat of experience and maturity”
Birthdays have always snuck up on me. I’ve never been one to count down the days to my birthday and I think the last time I made a list was when I was probably 11 or 12. I’ve just never wanted anything from a young age.
I turn 25 in a couple of weeks. For me the last 2-3 years have brought paradigm and attitude shifts that have turned me into a happier, and generally more calm person. Whilst some of my biggest problems (temperamental, overindulgent, lazy, reclusive) still have a grip on me, I understand the underlying principles which govern why I do what I do.
All this considered here are the 5 attitudinal shifts I believe we come across as we mature.
1. Understanding Mortality Leads To Compassion
- At some point along the line, we start to show a more mortal side. We develop a double chin, we lose hair, we start to grow hair in unflattering areas and we generally lose some of the vitality associated with being a teenager. Not only this, but we see others around us as aging. This is especially true with former classmates, and our parents. With our parents, we see them tire, age, and lose energy and without being morbid we start to picture what our world would look like without them there for guidance and love.
- The good news however is the result of embracing this concept. We approach things with more tact and understanding. We start lashing out less, and being kinder. We don’t whine or complain, we are just happy to have our friends and families in our lives, and attempt to make the most of it.
2. Looks Don’t Matter
- Let’s be honest, humans are very much visual creatures. It doesn’t help that it’s made worse by the pissing competition that is social media. We all want to surround ourselves with cool, attractive people who have substance. As we mature however, we start to assign a lesser importance to the former and a greater to the latter. The substance of a person is what makes them truly compelling. Quirks and quarks and how comfortable we feel with the people in our lives are paramount and choosing our friends or girlfriends and boyfriends based on looks alone seems naive and silly.
- As a wise man once said “That’s always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they’re pretty. It’s like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste”.
3. Nobody Gives a Fuck About Your Excuses in “The Real World”
- Seriously, nobody cares about your excuses. In any way shape or form. I don’t delude others or worse myself with any excuses I make. The best way to just stop making excuses. If you messed up and you know it, take it on the chin, learn from it and move on. You can waste so much time trying to coerce yourself and others into the bullshit you are about to spew or you can stop taking out the victim card every time something unsettling or derailing happens and just face it.
4. The Possession of ANYTHING, begins in The Mind
- If you are incapable of having the self – esteem and imagination to repeatedly visualize yourself doing what you want to do most, you have about a 0.01% chance of actually attaining that. And even if you are the 0.01% you will feel undeserving, and it will most likely not bring you the happiness you originally thought it would. This can be said about anything. Careers, hobbies, jobs, relationships, friends, sports, happiness etc.
- How do you tell if you are on the right track with attainment? Imagine something you really want in the near future. Maybe you have a huge crush on a girl and want to get to know her, or you really really want to become a power lifter, or write the next Hollywood script. Whatever it is, close your eyes and take the 5 or so minutes it takes to conjure up all the images associated with this. Picture yourself as exactly how you want, or how you want a particular situation to pan out. Open your eyes. Are you happy or dejected? Do you feel anxious or excited? have you just told yourself “Meh, that will never happen, think more realistically”? Your reaction will give you insight into your self esteem and thus the efficacy of your visualization.
- At the beginning/middle of last year I wrote 5 things I had wanted for myself in the near future. I wrote these things everyday as already having it, had a cue card in my wallet with those same 5 things that I would pull out and read, and I would also occasionally visualize about it. It’s been a little over a year and I have currently ticked off 4/5 of the very specific things I had written down.
- The possession of anything begins with rewiring your mind for abundance. If you don’t think you can have or achieve something, you better believe someone else does. Shift your mentality from scarcity to abundance.
5. Do Not Listen to “Opinions”, Especially the Negative Ones
- People like to talk. Adults like to make it seem they know a lot. People like to mask the fact that they know little about a subject by overt bouts of charisma and energy. Just look at Trump. The guy is a complete moron. But he is incredibly charismatic. He makes people believe based on the fact that he is obnoxiously loud, and opinionated. This method is incredibly polarizing, but it is the best way for the indoctrination of beliefs. He gets people fired up about things knowing (or unknowing, he is a moron after all) that the majority of people make decisions based on emotions and not rationality.
- I’m sure you’ve heard a plethora of things about yourself from teachers, friends, parents, siblings etc that are both good and bad. My English teacher in high school told me I was lousy at writing. He constantly failed me and because I rebelled and lashed out my parents were constantly meeting with him and I was always getting into trouble. To be perfectly honest, he was a piece of shit, but he was a loud mouth and charismatic. I just assumed what he was saying was right, and gave up on that semester. I transferred classes to a different English teacher the following semester, and I aced it. The damage however, had been done to my self image and I still believed I was garbage at writing.
- Cull those who don’t believe in your abilities, and with the same token believe in those around you who have bigger aspirations. Human beings have the potential to do anything, and the more you believe this the more you and those around you will rise to the occasion. Treat struggles as roadblocks and do not let negative, toxic people permeate your thick skin of belief.
- The only person whose opinion should truly matter is your own. Only you, can know you because you are you. Others are they, and even if they have your best interests in heart they are still they, and you are still you. In no dictionary that I’ve ever read are the meanings of “they” and “you” synonymous. I hope you are following.
Whilst your list may be different, I think we all have parallel experiences and realizations in our 20’s. This is a time in our lives where we are primed for the greatest amount of growth with these shifts being concrete proof of the changing landscapes of our external and internal worlds.
Enjoy the process!